60 Ways to Annoy Your Teacher
by Shiera137Faustus
Summary: Has anyone else besides me read the 60-Ways-To-Annoy-Your-Teacher thing on someone's profile and thought it would make an excellent story? Well, this is what happens when Ciel Phantomhive gets his hands on that. Sebastian will be the poor teacher. OOC-ness; enjoy! K plus because... I don't know.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I no own kuroshitsuji. But this was a really funny thing I found in someone's profile, so enjoy!_

I smirked as I read through the list. Perfect. I needed a way to annoy my teacher, Mr. Sebastian Michaelis (and hopefully get him to quit). And now I found the perfect list.

(^v^) (^v^) (^v^) (^v^)

The next day at school, I slung my backpack over one shoulder and kept my back against the hallway wall while walking to my classroom, all while humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme song.

The principle, Mr. Tanaka tapped me on the shoulder and asked, "Ciel Phantomhive, what are you trying to accomplish?"

I pretended to jump back as if startled, and held up my finger in a gun shape. "Step back!" I told him. Then I looked around and whispered loudly, "There are enemies nearby." Then I walked away casually as if nothing happened, leaving the other students and Mr. Tanaka staring after me.

Finally, as I reached the classroom door, I turned around and told the people who were still staring, "You all make terrible spies. Stay in the shadows!"

Then, continuing to hum the 'Mission Impossible' theme, I entered the classroom.

(^v^) (^v^) (^v^) (^v^)

I looked around, continuing to walk like a spy. When one of my classmates, Alois Trancy asked me what I was doing, I looked around and whispered, "I'm a spy!" and turned my attention elsewhere.

Did I mention I attended a private school and shared the teacher with four other students? Well, my dull classmates were Alois Trancy, Elizabeth Middleford, Finnian (nicknamed Finny by yours truly. I never bother to remember his last name), and some random kid named Joker or something.

I strolled past our desks and reached the most shadowy part of the room where I crouched down and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

At 8:00 o' clock sharp, our teacher came in.

We all waited for Finny to arrive.

He did so at 8:03, running in and colliding with our lesson plans of the day with a "GOZEN NAZAI!" (SORRY!)

I smirked slightly. Good job, Finny.

That was when Mr. Michaelis exploded. "FINNY! WHY ARE YOU LATE AGAIN?"

Finny muttered something in response.

Mr. Michaelis sighed and then launched into a lecture about responsibility.

When he finally finished, I asked, "DOES SOMEONE NEED A HUG?"

He gave me a glare and asked, "Is there a problem, Ciel?"

"No, why?"

He glanced at a couple of pencils on his desk. Before I could react, the pencils were embedded on the wall next to my head.

I gulped silently.

"Um… Ciel… why are you in the corner?" asked Elizabeth.

The sun had begun to breach my corner, and was touching my foot. I stood up, allowed the sun to touch

my face before grabbing my face with my hands and screaming, "The light! Make it stop! It BURNS!"

"Ciel…" the teacher's voice took on a warning tone. "Stop."

I looked around. Lizzie and Finny were looking at me as though they believed me; Joker was bent over a piece of paper (probably his homework); Alois was looking at me with an amused smile; Michaelis was glaring.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you are in school right now," Michaelis answered.

"Why?"

"Because you need to learn."

"Why?"

"Because you will be taking over your father's company soon."

"Why?"

I think I saw a vein throb. That was the only warning before he exploded. "WHY WON'T YOU STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS?!"

I let a smirk form on my face before replying, "Wow. I can tell you're a blast at parties!"

"Come back to your seat, Ciel."

"Why?" I asked, but strolled over to my seat and sat down.

During history, we studied Hannibal.

"AAAAHHH! CANNIBAL*!" I screamed.

That earned giggles from the entire class.

"Ciel," Mr. Michaelis stated.

I returned the look and began ripping up a random sheet of binder paper and flicked it across the room.

"Stop," the teacher said.

I stopped and crossed my arms. "You're racist against paper, aren't you?"

The teacher groaned. "Ciieeel."

"Yeees?" I replied.

"Turn in your homework, class," he said.

My goody-two-shoes classmates obediently fetched their homework.

"Ciel, where is your work?"

I didn't do it, but I wasn't about to tell him that. "I dropped it while beating up a guy for saying you're the worst teacher ever," I told him, smiling sweetly.

He couldn't prove that I didn't, I knew that, without looking like a stalker.

"Alright, then, if you did, please tell us who Hannibal is."

I nodded. "I need it to be dark in order to concentrate." I pretended to be blind. "AHH the lights are too bright!"

The teacher relented somewhat reluctantly. "You have half a minute."

I nodded eagerly. The moment the switch turned off I began singing opera at the top of my lungs. I think he turned the lights on before half a minute but I didn't complain.

"Who did that? Whoever did that should stand up and confess." Mr. Michaelis said.

I stood up. "I totally agree," before sitting down again.

"Well, Phantomhive?" Ohh… last name; not good.

"The singer distracted me," I claimed.

He sighed, "Everyone turn your English books to page 76."

"Why?" I asked.

He ignored me.

"_Pourquoi?" _I asked_. Why?_

"English, not French," he told me. "_Anglais, pas le Français._"

I was stunned. For the rest of the lesson I was quiet.

"_J'ai entendu d'autres enseignants parlent de vous dans la salle du personnel,_" I told him. _I heard other teachers talking about you in the staff room._

He ignored me.

I stayed quiet, trying to remember what other tricks there were on the list.

While we had science, I tried to lick my elbow.

Don't worry, I wasn't so well-behaved for long.

After lunch was over, we had math.

During math we had a quiz.

"Psst, Alois, what is the square root of 341 to the nearest hundredth?"

"Do you have a question?" asked Mr. Michaelis, coming up from behind.

I jumped out of my desk, knocking it down, and scrambled away like a crab. "Oh my gosh, RAPE! GET AWAY, RAPE!" I screamed.

By then the entire class was staring at us, the quiz forgotten.

"Ciel, why are you…"

"WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO RAPE ME?!" I hollered.

"I'm not- "

"Mr. Michaelis," a voice sounded. "The time allotted for the test is up."

Michaelis cleared his throat, relieved for the distraction.

I scowled. Why did Joker have to ruin my fun?

"Well, your fifteen minutes are up. Turn in your tests, class."

The sound of chairs shuffling and papers rustling could be heard around us. The little incident had probably escaped their little minds.

I turned in my half-completed test and sneered. "You're lucky there was a distraction."

"Yes, that was quite careless of you, was it not," he replied. We stood there glaring at each other before the bell rang. "Off to gym now, everyone," he said.

On the way to the gym, I began to mumble lame knock-knock jokes. When that didn't cause me to laugh, I began to imagine Mr. Michaelis in a dress. That did the trick and I began to laugh loads.

"Ciel Phantohive, may I ask what is causing you to laugh to hard? Care enough to share?" asked the teacher.

My brain came up with a brilliant plan. "Well, you see, I was merely imagining you in a dress."

His face grew red, though from embarrassment or anger I could not tell.

The other students began giggling very hard.

I excused myself quickly.

When I arrived at the gym afterwards, I shoved apart the double doors and began screaming, "THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!"

"Good for you," said Mr. Michaelis. "Now will you please tell us what a double dribble looks like?"

I stared at him blankly.

He sighed. "Were you not paying any attention at all yesterday?" He showed the class a double dribble. "Do you understand now?"

"I'm sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected. Please leave me alone or try again later. Thank you."

"Ciel…"

I pretended to snap out of a daze. "Oh! I'm sorry! The answer is 64! Uh, Hannibal! Bonjour! Uh…I totally agree."

"Ciel…"

I smiled at him sweetly. "Yes?"

"Run five laps after school today."

I shut up after that. I absolutely HATED running.

P.E. passed very boringly after that. Before I knew it, the class was over. I tried to slink away with the rest of the class, but a voice stopped me.

"Phantomhive, where are you going?"

I sighed and resigned to my fate, all the while looking forward to the next day.

*I did actually do this, except I didn't scream it. I muttered it loud enough for the people surrounding me to hear, but not the teacher.


	2. Chapter 2

_Diclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji or this list. I own… I own … an iPad! Yes, that was random, but tell me you weren't amused for a second there._

_Yes, I am baaaaack! With a horrible headache and probably sick, but back nonetheless. So here's a thank you to all of you who knew I would update!_

_And read Darkvampiregirl13's Kuroshitsuji 21 Century. Thanks for the shout out by the way!_

_Let me clear something up by the way. This happens in the middle of the school year, not the beginning. And the teacher switches around the order of the classes._

_Onto the story…_

_(^v^) (^v^) (^v^) (^v^)_

The next day I walked into class five minutes late while dancing the Macarena.

"Why are you late?" asked a stranger.

"M-my goldfish died!" I cried and broke into sobs. I'm a wonderful actor, trust me, I know.

"Is that so?" he said. "My name is Claude Faustus." Saying so, he wrote his name on the board.

"Hello Mr. Fau -" began my goodie-two-shoed classmates.

"Prove it!" I shouted.

"Excuse me?" he snarled. I swear the temperature in the room dropped more than a couple of degrees.

"PROVE IT!" I shouted louder. "Do you need hearing aids or something?"

His face turned an amusing shade of crimson.

"No," he hissed. "But you may need to stay a few minutes after school."

"N-no," I said softly, pretending to suppress a sob.

"Good. Now, seeing as you are here, let us begin with role call.

"Finnian -" here he paused, studying the paper closely. "I am sorry, but I cannot make out the last name."

"H-" Finny began.

"Missing!" I shouted.

He stared at me. "And who are you?"

"Your worst nightmare," I responded ominously.

He walked over to me, grabbed my collar, and –

LIFTED ME OFF THE GROUND.

"Ciel… Phantomhive…" I managed to choke out.

"Good. Now class, turn in your homework."

"H-homework?" I stuttered.

"Yes, yesterday's math homework."

"Oh, it's due now? Give me a moment then," I said, scribbling furiously at a piece of paper.

"Ciel. Now means NOW."

"Done!" I exclaimed.

"76, 34, pi, 46, 1, 99," he read aloud. "This paper will self-destruct in five sec – Ah!"

I looked at him with an innocent smile on my face, a half-empty water bottle in my hand. "I tried to warn you."

He looked at my dripping wet piece of work, then at me. "Detention, Phantomhive."

"I OBJECT," I stated boldly.

"Your opinion means nothing to me."

"MEEEE!" I repeated in a singsong voice while smiling.

"Your behavior is unacceptable."

"UNACCEPTABLE!" I screamed.

"Ciel Phantomhive, sit in that corner over there."

"THERE!" I yelled. Then, when he had his back turned, I whispered so that only my classmates would hear "move your desks forward and join me~!" Winking, I pushed my desk forward a little and skipped to the back of the room.

Elizabeth, who could not resist my charms, joined me.

Then Alois, who loved getting in trouble almost as much as yours truly, came with me.

Joker also came, smirking. Yep, he never has a set personality. One day he would be a teacher's pet, the next he would be a troublemaker.

The only one left was Finny who, looking around, distressed, joined us as well.

Meanwhile the substitute was pulling down the white sheet for the overhead. After doing this, he lugged the projector over to the middle of the room and turned it on.

I shifted my position slightly so a ray of the light caught my face (I have no idea why our projector is like this. It just is. And by that I mean it has rays of light going out in two directions; one, in front, and two, behind).

"AHH, MY EYES!" I screamed, falling to the floor, covering my right eye with my hand.

The substitute turned around, scowling. Then a surprised look came over his face. "What are you doing in the back of the room?!"

"One for all and all for one," I declared.

He sighed. "Everyone come back to your seats."

We did as we were told, very reluctantly.

"Now for language arts class, we will take notes."

"Dun dun de-dun, du-dun dun, de dun duun," I hummed. (a/n: think kuroshitsuji anime opening)

"Who is humming?!" Mr. Faustus screamed.

I purposely fell back. "AH! I FELL! Mr. Faustus you are too loooouuuud!"

"Phantomhive, behave yourself."

"Oh it HUUUURTS!" I moaned. "Nnn… AH! It huuurts!"

A knock on the door interrupted my tantrum.

"OH NO, THEY'RE COMING FOR ME!" I screamed.

"Ho ho ho," a voice penetrated through the door.

"Who's coming for you?" Alois asked.

"The evil-"

The doorknob turned.

"Mutated-"

The door began to open.

"PRINCIPAL."

Mr. Tanaka stepped into the room.

"How may I help you?" asked Mr. Claude.

"Merely observing the process of the students' work."

"THE SKY IS FALLING!" I screamed and dove under the desk.

Mr. Tanaka looked at me curiously. "And this is…?

Mr. Claude cleared his throat. "This is one of the … challenges."

I stood up and gave an innocent smile. "I'm dys – deeezlc – dec -"

Alois caught on and smirked. "He's dyslexic."

I smiled. "Yep."

"Oh? Really?" asked Mr. Tanaka.

I nodded happily.

"Then perhaps you should come with me. We have a special class for … special kids."

"I'm just kidding!" I yelped.

"Good."

"'Good,' he says," I muttered.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," I replied.

"Then I shall leave for now," the principal announced.

Mr. Faustus sighed. "Due to the unexpected visit, we are behind schedule. Therefore there will be no note taking today."

My classmates cheered.

I sat in my seat, smirking. "Let's see how long this one can stay before he is chased away," I murmured.

During science, we played a trivia game.

Because I was so intelligent, I won.

"I WON!" I yelled.

"Go Ciel!" cheered Lizzie.

"Nerd," smirked Alois.

"Yeah, well you are just jealous that you didn't beat me," I taunted, pumping my fists up in the air.

"Phantomhive, SIT DOWN."

"I OBJECT!" I told the substitute. "Beat me in a game of chess and then I might listen to you."

He seemed to appear very annoyed and face palmed. But when he looked up, there was a smirk plastered on his face. "Very well, I shall grant your request."

I snickered. "Bring it on."

"But where's the chessboard?" asked Finny.

"I have one," volunteered Joker.

"Then let us begin."

"I call white!" I yelled.

e4; e5; Nf3; d6; d4; Bg4; dxe5; Bxf3; Qxf3; dxe5; Bc4; Nf6; Qb3; Qe7; Nc3; c6; Bg5; b5; Nxb5; cxb5; Bxb5; Nbd7; 0-0-0; Rd8; Rxd7; Rxd7; Rd1; Qe6; Bxd7; Nxd7; Qb8; Nxb8; Rd8. (Opera House)

"Checkmate," I said, smirking.

"I lost to a mere student?!" growled Mr. Faustus.

"Sorry to break it to you, but that is exactly what happened."

He snarled and said, "Never mind that. It is time for science class."

I snickered. Science is – and always will be – my favorite subject.

"Today you will build a model of anything you wish out of any material you wish."

"Hey, Alois, can I use your scissors?"

"Sure."

"Lizzie, scissors please."

"Of course~!"

"Finny, can I use the scissors?"

"Okay."

"Joker, my friend, can I borrow your scissors?"

"I don't see why not."

I gathered all the scissors in the classroom and proceeded to glue them together.

"Phantomhive, what are you making?" asked a stern voice.

"A nuclear bomb," I said matter-of-factly.

The bell rang.

"Time to study history," said Mr. Faustus. "Turn to page 106 of your history textbooks please."

"I object."

"What?" Yellow eyes narrowed dangerously.

I gulped. "Um, I need to – uh go to the um, bathroom."

"Well then you are excused."

I hurried outside where a kid of about 13 was waiting.

"Get in here," I hissed.

"I get paid $20 for coming to class with you?" he asked.

"Yes."

"And there is nothing I have to do."

"Well you were supposed to wear pink," I muttered.

We walked back into the classroom.

"Who was Hannibal? Ciel, can you answe – CIEL WHO IS THAT?!"

"This is my new pet!" I faked a giggle.

"What?!" the seventh grader yelped. "You never said anything about being a pet. Screw you." With that he stomped out the door.

"You have a very obedient pet," Joker noted sarcastically.

I walked up to him and pulled out a strand of hair.

"AH! CIEL YOU SON OF BI- "

[Nuh-uh-uh, Joker. This is rated K+]

"DNA!" I proclaimed loudly.

Lizzie giggled; Alois smirked; Finny looked troubled.

As for Mr. Faustus, he looked ready to explode.

"What do you think you are doing?" he hissed.

"Ooh! I know this! Pick me!" I said 'eagerly', bouncing up and down in my seat.

"Well, Ciel, do enlighten us as to what you were doing."

"Um… I forgot."

"Ciel, answer me."

"Um… I forgot."

"Ciel, you have one last chance to explain your act -"

The bell rang.

"Physical Education!" I exclaimed, rocketing out of the room.

Of course, as I did not wish for there to be a repeat of yesterday's … punishment, I behaved myself in P.E. I didn't even disrupt the class more than 5 times!

"IT'S SPREADING!" I moaned. "THE THING IS _SPREADING_!" I dramatically flourished my arm under the substitute's nose. I had drawn a black spot on it yesterday. A tiny, insignificant dot, but today, it had 'grown'.

"Behave, Phantomhive," he'd snapped the first time.

"HELP ME! It's staining my beautiful, porcelain skin!" I held a hand up to my forehead in a distressed manner.

"Be quiet," he had spat the second.

"My arm is being contaminated! I shall soon be too weak to move!"

"Shut your mouth, or should I do it for you?" he hissed the third.

I pretended to faint. "OH it HURTS!" I twitched on the ground.

"Get up," he had said through clenched teeth after my fourth act. "You are staining the floor with your idiocy."

The bell rang before I could think up of a fitting retort.

"Good bye!" I smiled innocently, leaving the room.

_Eh, what can I say? I'm a slow updater._


	3. Chapter 3

_Diclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji or this list. I own… I own … an iPad! Yes, that was random, but tell me you weren't amused for a second there._

_Yes, I am ba- _

_Ow! *rubs head* who threw that apple? Ok, I deserved that. Ouch! Again? Please stop – AUGH!_

_W-without further ado – ouch – and before I am killed be these projectiles, here is what may be the last chapter to 60 ways to annoy your teacher._

When I came to school, instead of going to class, I ran and hid in the boys' locker room until school had officially started for 10 minutes. During this time I had changed into my Spiderman costume.

After I was sure there were no people in the hallway who could delay me from getting to class with stupid questions, I came out and headed toward the classroom.

Pushing open the door, I did a ninja roll (which totally did not end with me sprawled on the ground) into the room.

Through my mask I saw my classmates and teacher with their mouths open in disbelief.

"Ciel?" Mr. Michaelis demanded.

"Yes?"

"Why are you late?!"

"There was a disturbance," I replied.

"And?"

"And what?"

"And what does this … 'disturbance' have to do with you?"

I smiled sweetly. "I have to rid the town of it."

I heard him mutter something that sounded suspiciously like 'if you_ had _rid the town of it you wouldn't be here.'

"Well whatever the cause may be for your tardy, please turn in your essay."

"What essay?"

"The one I had the substitute assign specifically to you," Mr. Michaelis said sarcastically.

"The one he assigned last week," Finny piped.

"Oooh _that_ one," I said as though I knew what they were talking about. "You see, it's just that you give so much homework I can't keep track of it all and -"

"Do you have it or not?"

"Can I change out of this suit first please?"

Mr. Michaelis sighed, "Go ahead."

I ran to the locker room, changed in record time, and set about writing the essay when I remembered one of the "ways" on the list: hand in an essay where every word is misspelt.

I smirked and set about writing it.

After about ten minutes I had written a three paragraph essay. Misspelling every word is harder than it sounds.

I casually strolled back to the classroom. Right before entering, however, I took out a sticker I had Hannah, one of the maids back at the manor, make for me yesterday. I stuck it on my uniform, right over where the school logo was.

I then kicked open the door.

"Ciel! Why are you so late?"

I lifted my head in an elegant, indifferent manner. "The King is never late; everyone else is merely early."

My (poor) teacher sighed. He is sure doing that a lot today. "Never mind. Hand in your essay."

I skipped over and handed him my essay. Every word was spelled wrong, but if he were to read it aloud, no one would be able to tell.

He frowned but placed it on his desk along with the rest of the essays.

"Now class, as you all may know, today is going to be a short day due to parent teacher conferences. So instead of going about with our regular schedule, we will be – Ciel, what are you doing?"

I met his glare with a defiant smirk. "Expressing my artistic talents." I held out a paperclip necklace. "I think this suits you very well."

I turned to Elizabeth. "And this beautiful pair of earrings belong on the ears of the most lovely maiden here."

She giggled. "Thank you Ciel!" Apparently she took it as a compliment. Her brain probably didn't register that she was the ONLY maiden in the room.

"And Alois, my friend, do you not want these bracelets? They're pink you know."

Aloisi scowled. "Hell no."

I laughed at his expression.

"STOP THIS AT ONCE, PHANTOMHIVE," roared the teacher.

I took Alois' pen ("Hey, give that back!") and began talking to it.

"See how weird my teacher is? You're lucky you're a pen; you don't go through this torture."

"Now I see why you wear that sticker," commented Michaelis.

I grinned back at him.

"Now where was I? Ah yes, today there will be no schedule. We will go through whichever subject I feel we need a better grasp on."

I smiled. "I totally agree."

The teacher looked stunned. "Oh. Well, let us… we need to take a test on history."

"I totally agree."

Mr. Michaelis had put on some music for us to listen to during the test. Well, actually, he just replayed one song: The Devil's Trill.

I raised my hand silently and waited for him to fall prey to my trap.

The teacher walked over and whispered "What's wrong."

"Ew! NO I WON'T MAKE OUT WITH YOU AFTER CLASS!"

"What? I didn't say that."

"LIAR!"

"Report to me after school today," he hissed.

"What about the parent-teacher conferences?" I asked.

"Screw those."

I gulped.

The test was too hard. Therefore, I wrote my phone number with a heart next to my name. 408-254-2081 (do NOT try this.).

But I forgot about the incident by 10:30. This time, I took a tissue and began blowing my nose to the tune of 'Call me Maybe.'

Lizzie joined in with what she must think is a charming voice.

"This is silent reading time, not blow-your-nose time!" yelled Sebastian. "Why are you doing that?"

"Erm… Computer… Says… NO."

"I don't care what the computer says."

Right then we heard some police sirens outside.

"Oh no, they're here. Oh my God. Shit. Shit. Shit. What do I do? Sir, you have to help me! Oh God. They must have found the body! Help!" I said, panicking.

"Calm down, what body?"

I looked at him like he was crazy. "NEXT."

He sighed and turned around to write on the board.

I motioned for Alois to swap seats with me, then I had Lizzie, Joker, and Finny switch seats as well.

"Ciel what are you doing?" asked Michaelis, turning around –

– only to be met with Alois's questioning stare.

"Ci-" BEEEEEEEEEEEP.

The bell rang, signaling dismissal.

My classmates all ran out the door, but unfortunately I had forgotten to take into account one thing when switching seats.

"Mr. Phantomhive."

I was furthest from the door.

Gulping, I turned around. "Yes?"

-change POV-

Ciel gulped and hesitantly turned around. "Yes?"

"Stay here. I have let you off the hook way too many times, wouldn't you agree?" Saying so, he shut the door, barring it shut.

"I- I still have to go home," stuttered Ciel, all his confidence drained from his body.

"Oh, please, don't hurry," Sebastian drawled, walking towards Ciel much like how a cat stalks a mouse.

Ciel unconsciously took a step backward, then another, then another until he found himself against the wall.

"S-stay away."

"Oh come now, you've had your fun, don't you agree it's time for me to have mine?" Quicker than the eye could follow, Sebastian grabbed Ciel and bent him over a desk. "Don't move," he hissed. "It's time for your punishment, wouldn't you agree?"

"W-what?"

Sebastian gave no reply, merely changed … something … on Ciel's person.

"Ah!" Ciel cried out. "S-stop!"

The sound of flesh-on-flesh and Ciel's cries resounded around the otherwise silent room.

_I am smirking very hard right now. I mean like "Sebastian's signature-smirk hard. Now, tell me through review what your dirty little minds are thinking._


	4. Chapter 4

_Diclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji or this list. I own… I own … an iPad! Yes, that was random, but tell me you weren't amused for a second there._

_Oh dear, you all just won't let me have me fun, now will you? Never mind that. Now yes, I am extremely sorry for my lack of updates and broken promises to you all, but I shall make it up to you all in one nice, lengthy, (hopefully) well-written chapter._

_Oh, and I may write a sequel but you as my dearest readers must come up with Ciel's next list of activities ^^._

_So, without further ado, the final installment to _How To Annoy Your Teacher_. Enjoy, and please review to tell me your opinions on this story. _

_This shall be the first story that I will be finished with. I feel so excited and nervous! _

"Ciel?"

I grumbled at my mashed potatoes while trying to ignore my sore ass. Seriously, Mr. Michaelis hit's way too hard. I mean, I wasn't all_ that_ rude, was I?

"Ciel, do not ignore your mother," came a stern voice.

I forced myself to look up and plastered a winning smile on my face. "Sorry father, mother."

"Ciel, are you feeling all right? You haven't touched your steak." Mother.

"How was school today?" Father.

"I'm fine," I replied, "merely distracted. You see, my teacher gave us a lot of homework, and I fear I will not have time to finish it all if I do not start now, and the matter has made me lose my appetite. I am very sorry."

Mother whispered something to Father, and he in turn looked straight at me. "We are very glad to see that you are so serious about your studies. You may go to your room as soon as you feel you are done with your meal; there is no need to wait for a formal dismissal."

"Thank you, Father, Mother," I replied.

Two minutes later I was up in my room scowling at the memory of my teacher. My ass STILL hurt. I opened my laptop and scanned through my list of to-do's and already-done. To my utmost surprise I had finished with the entire list, save two.

And one of them I really did not feel like doing.

Then again, it may prove to annoy Michaelis further.

I logged onto my email account and gave a small surprised sound when I saw an email from me teacher.

I opened it.

Well it was boring. It merely asked me where I had gotten my recent ideas.

I wrote back:

None of your business, Michaelis.

-Ciel Phantomhive

p.s. my ass still hurts, thanks to you. Go to hell.

And I clicked 'send'.

Not a minute had passed before he sent me another email:

You have two things that you have not yet done on my list.

Sebastian Michaelis

I reread it five times before what he had said registered in my mind.

No way, a part of me said. Uptight, strict, perfect Michaelis could NOT have written the list. Yet another part of me realized that there was no proof either way.

Then a smirk grew on my face.

I replied with:

What list? I don't know what you are talking about.

-Ciel Phantomhive

p.s. Screw you.

I sat back, satisfied with my trap.

And unsurprisingly, he took the bait.

THIS list:

_1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)_

_2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously._

_3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask" DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?" very loudly._

_4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, "wow I can tell you're a blast at parties"_

_5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream " THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!"_

_6. Flick pieces of paper around the class._

_7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, "Your racist against paper aren't you."_

_8. Don't do your Homework._

_9. When your teacher asks you why you didn't do your homework say "I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you're the worst teacher ever." then sit there and smile sweetly._

_10. When you have a supply teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name is Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say "PROVE IT!"_

_11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, "My goldfish died." Then burst into tears._

_12. When handing in your homework, write "This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds." at the bottom._

_13. When you leave the class bow and say, "May the force be with you, young one."_

_14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused._

_15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream "OMG! GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!"_

_16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena_

_17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room_

_18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree!" after everything your teacher says_

_19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow_

_20. Speak in French._

_21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance"_

_22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well_

_23. "The homework's due now? Oh, give me a minute then."_

_24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelt._

_25. Run in the room screaming, "THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!"_

_26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, "The queen is never late, everyone else is simply early."_

_27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, "I'm sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you."_

_28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream "AAH MY EYES!"_

_29. Tell yourself knock-knock jokes, then laugh loads._

_30. Hide under your desk and yell "THE SKY IS FALLING!"_

_31. When someone knocks on the door, shout "OH NO, THEY'RE COMING FOR ME!"_

_32. Bring in a 7th Grader and says he's your new pet._

_33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb._

_34. When your teacher asks you a question, just stare at them._

_35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice._

_36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it._

_37. If you're playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win._

_38. Glue all their scissors together._

_39. Make paperclip jewellery. I.e. necklaces, earrings, etc…_

_40. Pull out one strand of someone's hair and yell "DNA!"_

_41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says 'I am retarded'_

_42. Talk to a pen._

_43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what's wrong, yell "NO I WON'T MAKE OUT WITH YOU AFTER CLASS!"_

_44. Yell "LIAR!" to everything they say._

_45. Smile. All the time._

_46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, IT'S SPREADING!"_

_47. When a supply teacher is taking the register, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say 'Your worst Nightmare'_

_48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down and go "OOOHH I KNOW THIS!"_

_49. When a teacher calls on you say, "I forgot." To every question she asks._

_50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favourite song._

_51. When the teacher is not facing you, get the whole class to move their desks forward towards the him/her!_

_52. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught!_

_53. When a teacher asks you a question... Reply "ERM, COMPUTER SAYS NOOO!"_

_54. When the teacher makes a statement, stand boldly and shout "I OBJECT!"_

_55. REPEAT the last word the teacher says but say it much louder!_

_56. While the teachers back is turned, everyone swaps seats!_

_57. If you are sure you haven't passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart!_

_58. When you hear a Police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting "Oh no, they're here. Oh my god. Shit. Shit. Shit. What do I do? Miss/Sir you have to help me! Oh god. They must have found the body! HELP!"_

_59. When it's your turn to answer a question... Shout "NEXT!"_

_60. Show them this list._

Sebastian Michaelis

I giggled slightly to myself and printed the pages containing our little conversation out. I left out the part about my ass hurting.

Next day…

I walked into the classroom with a spring in my step. (Not literally)

Mr. Michaelis was sitting at his desk in front of the computer, presumably updating our grades.

I stepped to the front of the room and proudly presented the print out from last night to the class.

"Attention!" I called in my sternest voice.

Everyone fell silent.

"Today I shall show you the darker side of our beloved teacher, Sebastian Michaelis. Take a look at this list he made up!"

The others gathered around. I took this opportunity to skip over the my teacher and in an Alois-like fashion bent down to his blood-red face and whispered, "Checkmate, Mr. Michaelis. Oh, and may the force be with you. It is probably more use to you than your brain."

I then walked back to the group of student who were having trouble calming down, seeming to have forgotten all about Michaelis.

How I love school.

_Yep, Sebastian was the one who wrote the list. I planned that all along. Totally. Good day and farewell to you all! _

_Oh and the Bartimaeus Trilogy is really good. You guys should read it. It's about a demon (djinni) named Bartimaeus who has a sarcastic, funny, and overall awesome personality and a teenage magician named Nathaniel who is … I don't know how to describe him. _

_So anyways, farewell~!_


End file.
